Adventure Spongebob What?

Welcome once again to the latest installment of Mad Dawg’s Mad Mad World.  I’m your host, “Mad Dawg” William Berry.  Today’s blog is sponsored by Pepsi.  Pepsi, Live for Now!  Okay, so I don’t have a sponsor yet; but how cool would that be?

Most people enjoyed the last blog.  They didn’t agree with it, but they still enjoyed it.  Instead of talking about something controversial today (like my feelings of the government or my feelings on the people who voice their opinions of the government), I’ve decided to stick with a much lighter topic.

As a parent, I’m constantly watching cartoons with my children.  Who am I kidding?  I LOVE cartoons.  Cartoons, comic books, video games, I’m still a big kid at heart.  But as I sit around, watching cartoons with my two LOVELY children, (who may or may not make it to see 13 or 3), I have but one question on my mind…WHO THE HELL IS DEVELOPING THESE SHOWS!?

Let’s take a look at some of the more popular ones, starting with Spongebob Squarepants.  I’m sorry, what?  What exactly is the premise of this show?  And how old is Spongebob?  I assume he’s at least 18 because he has his own job and lives alone.  I doubt he was emancipated.  But this leads to bigger questions.  What grown man runs around playing make believe with a box.  Dads and actors don’t count!  And his best friend is stupid.  In fact, he is the EPITOME of stupid.  Do these people learn anything during their episodes?  I have yet to see an episode where he does.

Next up on the plate is Adventure Time.  Again, another pointless show.  This show is the embodiment of what is wrong with today’s youth.  Here you have a boy and his dog, who have no respect for the older generation.  Their entire goal is to fight and go on adventures.  Again, no one learns anything.

Remember the days where cartoons had little recaps going over the message of the day.  How many times did we see He-Man telling us that his episode was about friendship, sharing, or something else educational with examples to back it up?  How many times did we hear, “And knowing is half the battle.”?  And even the cartoons that didn’t have a message still made sense.  Except Looney Tunes and Tom and Jerry, but at least those cartoons were funny.

Now I will say that not all cartoons are crap.  There are a few that still bring a smile to my face and keep me entertained.  Young Justice, Yug-i-oh, Clone Wars, Avengers, Avatar, are some just to name a few.  I won’t put any of the remakes up there like Transformers Prime or Thundercats because it’s really hard to mess up with such an iconic following.  Although the Dragonball movie was able to achieve that swimmingly! 

Now I know I sound like a grumpy, bitter old man.  Damn it, I’ve earned it.  I want my kids to grow up with the same basic respects that my generation grew up on.  But then again, it’s my generation putting out this crap so I think we should have the same respects of the generation before mine.  I could talk about music, but I think I’ll save that for tomorrow.  Hope you enjoyed this light blog installment, and as always, love, peace, and chicken grease.

Weddings For Everyone!

Welcome one and all to Mad Dawg’s Mad Mad World.  I now it’s been awhile since I last posted, but I was on an unexpected hiatus.  But I’m back now, so all is right with the world.  I’ve had some “feedback” about the length of my posts.  In the spirit of giving the people what they want, I will try to shorten up my posts a bit.  Now on to today’s topic!

Now everyone knows that this is an election year.  Yes, I will give my opinions on the election.  Yes, I have many opinions about the elections and the government in general.  But today’s topic is about what is sure to be the hot button issue of the year; gay marriages.

I don’t see what the big deal is about it.  It’s like Chris Rock said; gay people should have the right to be as miserable as the rest of the world.  Why is it so wrong for two men, or two women, who love each other to go through the highly unnecessary ritual of getting married?  Straight people do it all the time, and a lot of times, they don’t even love each other.

Speaking of, don’t we have people who:  A. marry for money, B. marry for convenience, or C. marry for tradition?  Mail order brides, marrying a doctor because he/she have money, or marrying someone because mommy and daddy prearranged it before you had a chance to know or decide for yourself denies you the natural misery of picking the wrong person.  And then there are those gold digging tramps who marry military men JUST for the benefits.  And that happens more often than you think.  Then we have those that get married in a drunken night of fun, regret it in the morning, and promptly get it annulled 30 hours later.  Ms. Spears, I’m looking at you!  Or they get married, decide they can’t handle the pressure and responsibility that comes along with marriage, and get divorced.  Will the real Kardashian please stand up!  See what I did there?

How exactly is gay marriage going to infringe on all of this?  “Well it destroys the sanctity of marriage.”  Really?  According to the dictionary that comes with Microsoft Word 2007, sanctity is defined as a “holy thing.”  How is marriage a holy thing?  The Bible is a “holy thing.”  The Pope’s stool is a “holy thing.”  I’ll give you a minute to truly appreciate that last morsel.  Heh heh heh.  Marriage is neither holy, nor sacred.  What is the divorce rate in this country, eighty percent?  I know it’s only like 50 percent, but I was going for comedic effect.  Get over it.

Homosexuality is not a disease you can cure by not allowing them to fight in the military or marry who they want.  If they want to die for what they believe in or enjoy the joys of waking up next to the same person in holy matrimony, and I use that term loosely, only to realize that once every day you contemplate murder, then I say let em.  And here is a fun fact that Mr. Ralphie May pointed out.  For every gay male couple, that leaves two more available women, seeing as how it’s usually the pretty boys that are gay.  That makes the rest of us look exponentially better, thus increasing our success rate!  So enjoy the fact that homosexuals want to get married, and thank a gay man the next time you see him for allowing you the opportunity to score with a hot chick!  And yes I realize that I didn’t take into account lesbians, because, well let’s face it; lesbians are HOT!

Enjoy this clip from Ralphie’s special Too Big To Ignore.  Thanks again for reading, and as always, love, peace, and chicken grease!